Shakti had now made herself very well known to me. She had revealed herself to me in the most powerful of ways. It was as if slow and easy revelations was not really in her best of interests. It became apparent that she knew exactly what she was doing and to fully grab my undivided attention she had to come at me with full force. Believe me when I say “full force” this was a force to reckon with.
Shakti or pure divine energy is said to be the essence of all that exists in life. She cannot be created nor can she be destroyed. All shakti does is merely transfer from one state on to the next. ‘Shakti’ or ‘Prakriti’ is symbolic of the feminine aspect of a person’s nature, it is the activating power and energy that leads to both motion and change. As I explained previously “Shakti” had been a word I had been exposed to from a very young age; but now was the right time to find its true meaning, its true origin. Where was I going to begin “I thought” it was easy when I finally realised. The best place to begin was at home, the home where I had first heard the term. Unexpectedly I did not have to search very far as what I was looking for had always been in plain sight for me to see. Within every hindu family home, you will always find some form of small temple or mandir. This temple is always beautifully designed and in it houses a selection of deities selected carefully by each family. The temple represents a place of worship, a place where a devotee can be one with the divine.
Hinduism has always been classed as a polytheistic religion whereby people believe in a multitude of different gods and goddesses, each having their own reasons and purpose behind their beliefs. Usually beliefs are passed down through different generations and rituals of these deities continue happening without any real questioning. This is something I had also been accustomed to during my younger years, questioning any aspect of beliefs would never really lead to definitive answers. In essence I had always felt like the blind had been following the blind when it came to idol worship. Every time I had tried to open my eyes to the whole ritualistic process my questioning had fallen completely on deaf ears. Its as if it was better to just stay quiet and follow what everybody else around me was doing. Unfortunately I had never really been the one to follow without reasoning, something in me had always pushed me to question everything and this is exactly what I was doing right now.
I began by researching more about the temple that had been housed in my families home for many years. It had a multitude of deities present, all based I assume on what members of my family had beliefs towards. As I would look at these idols and pictures so many questions would arise in my head. Were these images representations of actual people? Had they looked like this previously? How can their me so many idols, baring in mind that India has around 33 million gods and goddesses. In my mind I kept thinking “with so many religions in the world, mostly monotheistic how can hindus believe in this many gods and goddesses”. These are the types of thoughts that ran through my mind daily and with so much to think about and possible avenues to take, I decided to begin my quest with the deity that had always stuck out to me no matter where I had looked. This deity which I had, had an unconscious affinity towards for so long went by the name of Shiva, “Shiva the destroyer” as he was commonly known. Shiva was not alone, sat closely beside him was his wonderful family which consisted of his most beautiful and loyal consort Parvati and their two gracious sons Ganesh and Kartikaya.
Religion had just offered me door too look through. Its as if something was supporting me in my search, and on a deeper level it felt like I was always being guided towards the right direction.
‘Religion is to follow someone else’s word as truth; whereas spirituality is to discover your own truth’– Yogi Kanna
In the Journey of Life there may come a point where you question why? Why do we do certain things when one day this Journey of Life will simply come to an end?
For me the Journey of Life began by questioning the same small thing repetitively. This question used to really bug me from a very young age from which stemmed endless questions and the search for answers. One day this search eventually led me to the dreaded question of Why Do We Exist? This really used to make me feel uneasy, nauseous at times and on most nights left me with a sensation of being sucked into a dark hole. From then on I did everything I could to shun the plethora of questions that would whirl around in my head when left unoccupied. Then later on in my life, the same pestering question revisited, but this time, I could not let it go. I had to face it head on.
The first place I turned to was to religion. However, personally I did not find the answers I was looking for in any such teachings. It was not until I turned inwards did I begin to unravel some peace and balance to these unruly thoughts. I realised that we are all on a journey, with very similar goals in mind. All of us are looking for some sort of freedom, ultimate happiness, wealth, divinity etc. but our routes will all differ. It was understanding this concept which first gave me a sense of peace. We can conceptualize this as a point of bright light emitting abundant halos. The centre of the light is the focus we all aim to reach, and the halos represent us. The different rings represent different beliefs, religions, phases etc. in life all pointing towards the centre that binds us all as one.
We are all at different stages in this Journey of Life, each and every path taken neither right nor wrong. By understanding this and discovering what brings you closer to your centre, it may be possible to answer such burning questions for yourselves and for us all to live side by side in both peace and harmony. We must live in total equilibrium by trying to allow ourselves and those around us the chance to both Live and Let Live.
A new realisation had just occured by a simple change in direction. All it had taken was a small glimpse inwards and a huge ripple had just been created. Previously I had, had the realisation that one of my controlling demons “Fear” had just been banished. This had in turn revealed to me a new inner strength, a strength I had never been aware of in the past. It was like an uncharged battery had just been given a jolt of energy; but to me it was more like a full charge up. The feeling of this energy (shakti) did not last long and with time it slowly died down.
What I had come to the realisation of sometime after the initial surge was that this energy was powerful. It was pure but uncontrolled, energising yet demanding, infinite yet appearing finite. Before delving deeper into revealing more about myself I had to understand this energy better. It was all well trying to find ways to resurface this power; but without control it would without a doubt consume me. “Unless you have felt this pure energy for yourself and become aware of it, it is very difficult to explain”. Words and images cannot explain it, it is to say of the non-physical. Many questions of its true origins had started to spur on in my mind… Was it real? Where did it come from? Why had it been released? the more questions I asked the more confused I became.
After a while having pondered over these questions for sometime it dawned on me, like one of those “light bulb” moments. “Shakti” was a word I had heard many times in my childhood. It was never something I had taken much notice of at the time, but somewhere in my subconscious it had been permanently stored, stored for the day to come where I would need to recall it. That day was now, its as if I’d just tapped into a storage facility and brought forth an unconscious memory. Could this be possible could their actually be a storage place for everything that had already occurred in my life. There couldn’t be could there?
My natural inquisition was already leading me to discover more about energy; at the same time new doors of enquiry were also being opened. I had to be patient I had to deal with one element at a time, only then could I move on.
Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know
– Pema Chondron