I had taken the plunge into an Inner World, the plunge of just stepping into my world and oh boy was it a mess. Its as if my eyes had just turned inwards and then without any further warning just dropped me into an Inner World of total chaos. I was like “what is this all about” first you help me find my Inner World and then you leave me to deal with this? Had I just made a mistake? was I just dreaming? should I just turn back and close the door? were all questions I constantly kept asking myself. But I had only just walked into the door of this Inner World and already a raging battle had begun a battle with one of my greatest demons “Fear”.
“Fear is a demon we all have in our lives, which has been instilled in us from the day we entered into this physical plane. We all at some point in our lives will need to confront all our fears whether we like it or not”. For me the time had come, “talk about timing” I had just awakened and now this? Talk about bad luck, nevertheless curiosity kept me marching on, only this time I felt for the first time ever like I was not alone, this time I had an ally by my side. A new power had arisen, a power that was now supporting me to keep going. This new power I will refer to for now as “shakti” and at a later point in the blog discuss this further with you all.
A battle had now ensued between this power (shakti) and fear, one minute the fear ran riot the next the power took reigns. This back and forth motion continued for sometime, leaving me completely drained, physically and mentally I was a wreck, powerless as to what was happening. I had to let nature takes its course, the demon had to be brought to the light and finally banished forever. My life for a while was in turmoil lost at moments and then found again. It was sometime after all this that I came to another realisation, yes you guessed it another “Aha” moment. I had finally banished my demon, its as though this vault inside me that had been containing all my fears had just been broken. Shakti had just taken full reign over the demon and the good over the evil had finally taken back control. But wait “I thought” I have many more things that need addressing I am sure of it, how can this be it. It was then that I realised I needed to keep faith, the faith that in time what needed to be revealed to me would.
It was this first everlasting experience that led me deeper into the unknown. I literally found myself questioning everything about my life, from the day that I was born to the present moment. The journey was going to be both long and demanding but I had to move on, I had to find my answers.