The practice of waiting has never really been an admirable quality of mine to say the least. Trying to discover what this Hidden World had to offer me, had been keeping my mind restless at the best of times. Days just seemed to be dragging on forever, while the nights were full of unexplainable energy surges and disturbed sleep. At points I would wake completely drenched through, yet fully alert and I’d panic thinking what was going on with me? Most at this point would have probably consulted a physician with the hope for answers, but not me. I knew deep down that what my body was going through at that point in time was not any physical ailment, it was as I realise it to be now an awakening. What was awakening? I was already awake wasn’t I?
Hidden World I thought, what could this all be about. Wasn’t the world I already saw with my own two eyes the only world? the only reality? or was their something else? A Hidden World… one that was only seen by a lucky few, the fortunate amongst us or was it a world that had just been hidden from me all along. That initial thirst which I had had sometime ago had just suddenly turned into a hunger. A total curiosity to know more had just become my new driver, I was now a man on a mission. That mission was to seek new knowledge, to fulfill as many answers to the questions I had spinning around in my head. Only and only then could I realistically start to piece together this puzzle I had been exposed to.
The mission had been set, set to discover this Hidden World. The drive and determination was geared and ready to go; suddenly it dawned on me how could a lost man discover a new world when the current one was no longer affirming to what he knew. “It is always easy to create ideas and dreams; but to execute and materialise them in reality is the difficult part”. I had to find a guide a guide that could help me begin this search, somebody or something that knew what was going on. Weeks and months went by with ideas and visions all creating storms in my head, “Who Am I” I’d think, if i am not this physical body I relate to then what? What is controlling me? What was all this new energy I was suddenly feeling? Was I becoming unwell? I had to begin I had to solve this mystery. Then one day on my way home from work feeling rather relaxed and calm it clicked. First a smile, then an energy surge, followed by an excitement like never before, one of those “Aha” moments. It transpired that I had been looking in all the wrong places in the wrong direction, I had been living my life the wrong way, Id been living outside-in. The outer world had been controlling me, controlling and creating my Inner Reality.
The “Hidden World” I had so longed to discover had just opened a door. Was I ready to take this step in “I thought”. What if I never came back, what if….. but I was ready, ready to take that step into my world, my hidden world.
‘And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom‘ – Anais Nin
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